


To Be The Last

by TheCourtSorcerer



Series: Merthur Drabbles & One Shots [13]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Anniversaries, Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Caring Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Cuddles, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt Merlin (Merlin), Hurt/Comfort, King Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), M/M, comfort cuddles, mentions of parental death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 09:55:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29151606
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheCourtSorcerer/pseuds/TheCourtSorcerer
Summary: Something was wrong with Merlin.“Something is wrong with you,” Arthur voiced his thoughts after zero consideration for how the words may sound.--OR--It's the that time of year again, the time when Balinor died. And even after all these years, Merlin grieves what could have been had he not lost his father as soon as he got him those years ago.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Merthur Drabbles & One Shots [13]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2052750
Comments: 20
Kudos: 288
Collections: Tavern Quest 2: Merlin Hurt/Comfort Fest 2021





	To Be The Last

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so, this is just a short little thing I wrote instead of doing my ASL homework.
> 
> I am currently working on a larger project for Merlin H/C Fest 2021, which is coming along well I'd like to say! I quite like how it's coming, and I'm excited to finish and post it! It is still quite a ways from finished, though, unfortunately.
> 
> I also have a few others I'm working on, but by larger projects are being put on the back burner right now until I get my main H/C fics finished and posted. Then, once those are done, I have a few others to finish up before starting on my real big one. I think y'all will like what I've got planned, I'm currently working on planning right now while I write my H/C fics, and I am honestly so excited to start writing it. I have to be patient though.
> 
> My current plan is -- Finish main H/C fic, finish Love Language Series, finish other 2 or 3 big fics, and then, after all that, start my big project (I'm planning for about 16 chapters, and I'm fleshing out and planning the chapters already while I work on my other fics!)
> 
> Now, alongside all that, I'm still going to be posting smaller fics like this! Just little things I write in my free time, when I'm procrastinating, sudden inspiration strikes, or I'm taking a break from one of the big ones.
> 
> This was just a cute little, purely self-indulgent fic because I wanted Merlin/Arthur cuddles and comfort. So, here it is! My first, small, entry to Merlin Hurt/Comfort Fest 2021!
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Merlin was quiet.

Too quiet.

Arthur glanced over to where his servant sat by the fire, supposed to be polishing his armour. A frown found its way on to his face when he noticed the Warlock not moving, just staring at the flames as they burned.

Something was wrong with Merlin.

“Something is wrong with you,” Arthur voiced his thoughts after zero consideration for how the words may sound. He cringed when he realized how insulting his observation sounded out loud. To his concern, though, Merlin didn’t respond back with his typical teasing insult back. In fact, he didn’t respond at all. Just…Stared at the flame.

Worry twisted mercilessly in the King’s gut as he watched his manservant.

“Merlin?” He stood slowly from his desk and walked over. When he still got no response, he placed his hand on Merlin’s shoulder firmly but gently as he crouched down beside him. “ _Merlin_.”

The Warlock flinched, his head quickly snapping to face Arthur, who let go of his shoulder. His blue eyes were wide, and glittering with unshed tears, which Merlin quickly blinked away. “Hm? Sorry, I must not have heard you. Did you need my assistance?”

Arthur’s frown deepened and he sat down on the floor beside Merlin. Merlin gave him a strange look, shifting slightly where he sat.

“No, I just—” he grimaced slightly. He never was good at this sort of thing. Taking a deep breath, he pushed on. “Are you alright, Merlin? You seem…Out of it.”

“Oh. Oh, yeah,” Merlin paused, his gaze trailing to the fire for a moment sadly before snapping back to Arthur’s face, “Yeah! Yeah, I’m perfectly fine.” He grinned widely, but the smile pressed onto his face didn’t quite reach his eyes—eyes that looked pained and lost.

The King let out a long sigh and stared at Merlin silently for a moment.

“You’re not alright,” he finally deduced. Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but Arthur held up a hand. “Merlin, love, you looked as if you were about to burst into tears when I came over here. What happened to no more lying to each other?”

At those words, Merlin recoiled slightly as if physically struck, a look of guilt flashing on his face. He didn’t respond right away, though, and Arthur didn’t push him. The Warlock looked away, letting his gaze fall on the fire again. Moments passed in tense silence, and Arthur was just about to give up, when suddenly Merlin inhaled shakily.

“Today… I… It—” He began, only to cut himself off with another, stronger breath. He shut his eyes tightly before opening them again.

Then, in a voice so small it made Arthur’s heart hurt, Merlin murmured, “I became the last Dragonlord around this day… Those years ago...”

Arthur frowned in confusion. “That’s a good thing, though, isn’t it? Being a dragonlord? You brought life to… Aithusa? Yes, Aithusa, and saved Camelot from Kilgharrah.”

Merlin just shook his head with a small, sad smile, before looking to Arthur again. Tears welled in his eyes, and Arthur found himself wanting nothing more than to kiss them away. He didn’t, though, instead he just tilted his head, keeping his hands (and lips) to himself, because this was not the time.

“Being a dragonlord, yeah, yes that’s…” He sucks in a breath, “That’s incredible. I have such a unique connection and relationship with these creatures—they’re kin, but… But, Arthur, I’m the _last_ dragonlord. I _became_ the last dragonlord around this time, all those years ago, when Kilgharrah attacked… When—when Balinor…”

His voice shook slightly, broke, but Arthur was kind enough not to comment on it, as he forced out the rest of his sentence. “When Balinor died.”

That was when Arthur finally made the connection, and his heart sank.

“Balinor was your father…” He whispered, and Merlin just nodded silently.

He didn’t know how he didn’t make the connection before, when Merlin first confessed about everything. How he hadn’t realized that when Merlin told him he was the last dragonlord, that it meant Balinor had been his father. It just… Well, he supposed it hadn’t been highest on his mental priority list of things to realize. He recalled that day, years ago, Merlin’s tears, and how he was affected by the man’s death. Then, he really wondered how he’d not realized it.

It was obvious as he remembered it now. Those weren’t the tears of a man losing his last chance at saving his Kingdom. Those were the tears of a grieving son.

“I—” Merlin shook his head, “I had only just got him… Then, I lost him. It…It’s been _years_ , and it shouldn’t hurt so much, but it _does_. I just… Every year, this time, I can’t—all I can think about is what it could have been like, all we could have done, if he’d just not… You know.”

Arthur stared at Merlin for a moment. Then, he took a deep breath and suddenly stood up, hauling Merlin up onto his feet with him. The Warlock let out a startled noise as he was yanked onto his feet, but Arthur paid no attention to it.

“Alright,” he announced loudly, clapping his hands down onto Merlin’s shoulders.

“Al…right?” Merlin eyed him warily, visibly confused.

Arthur nodded, dropping his hands from Merlin’s shoulders, only to grab his hand with his own and drag him over to the bed.

“ _Ar-Arthur_! What are you doing?” Merlin gasped in surprise, stumbling after him.

Arthur stayed silent, though, until they reached the bed, where he (lightly) pushed Merlin onto it. “Taking your mind of this. Get comfortable.” Merlin opened his mouth to protest, but Arthur narrowed his eyes. “That’s an order, Merlin.”

His voice was firm enough to show he was serious, but soft enough to let Merlin know he could say leave if he really wasn’t okay with this.

With a small glare, Merlin huffed and pushed off his boots. Then, he untied his neckerchief, setting letting it drop to the floor (it wasn’t his favourite one anyway), before getting under the heavy duvet and pulling it up to his chin.

“I’m not doing this because you told me to, I’m doing this because your bed is soft and I wanted to… _Prat_.” He muttered petulantly. Though, Arthur could see the hint of a smile forming on his face. Good. His plan was working already.

“Sure, you are. Whatever you say.” Arthur pulled off his own boots, then quickly disappeared behind the changing screen, only to come back out with his night clothes on. A warmth spread through him at the endearing sight his eyes fell on when he walked out. He slowly walked over to his bed, to not alert Merlin of his presence, as he watched him with a smile.

Merlin buried his face deeper into Arthur’s favourite pillow, inhaling deeply as he curled around it slightly.

Instead of commenting and bringing attention to it, like he normally would have done, Arthur just sighed softly and climbed into the bed on the other side, behind Merlin, before curling his body around his lovers, draping his arms around him. Merlin sighed loudly into the pillow he was cuddling, before pulling his face out of it and glancing over his shoulder to the King spooning him.

“… I know what you’re doing,” he mumbles, chewing his bottom lip. Arthur trails a hand to the brunet’s face and gently pulls the lip from his teeth.

“Good… Let me do it, then.”

Merlin sighed loudly again. Then, he let go of the pillow and rolled over in Arthur’s arms so his body was facing him. Arthur gently pressed their foreheads together.

“You know…” He began, his voice a soft whisper that he hadn’t even known he could create. “I’m nearly finished drafting the repeal of the magic ban… Then, you can look it over for me, and we can put it into place…”

Merlin nodded slowly; he looked so tired this close, Arthur noticed.

“You know what happens when I can do that?” He asks the man in his arms.

“Mm… What?” Merlin raised an eyebrow, humouring him.

“I get to make you Court Sorcerer—or Warlock, if you’d prefer that.”

“Sorcerer is fine, a Warlock is technically a Sorcerer, after all.”

Arthur nodded, taking a breath. “Alright. Well, then, I get to make you my Court Sorcerer… And you know what happens when I can do _that_?”

“What?”

“You’ll have a real title in court, and we’ll get to reveal you as a Dragonlord… I’ll be able to name you a member of nobility, like Dragonlords like Balinor once were in this court. Not to mention the role your rank as Emrys would play… You know what happens then?” His voice was but a whisper, and Merlin matched his volume, growing visibly more curious,

“What happens then?” He asked, wrapping his arms around Arthur and pulling him closer. Arthur smiled softly, taking a deep breath.

“Then, you’ll officially be someone of high social status, a man like you? The Last Dragonlord and practically King of the Druids… With the King of Camelot? Well. What a union _that_ would be,” Arthur hummed, watching as Merlin’s eyes widened in recognition, “The council would have no reason to oppose our marriage, then. In fact, they’d have to agree it would be quite the smart play. They’d see it as the perfect political marriage, binding magic and Camelot… We’d see it as it really is. Us, finally getting to marry. For love.”

A smile danced on Merlin’s lips. “Arthur Pendragon. Are you proposing to me right now?” He teased lightly.

“No, not yet, at least,” Arthur smiled back, “think of this more as a… A promise that I will. When you’re not half asleep, and still out of it from your current emotional state.”

“My current emotional state, really?”

“You’re _grieving_ , Merlin. I’m not going to take advantage of that and propose, when I can wait and give you the proposal you deserve.”

Merlin pouted slightly, but nodded anyhow, and Arthur relaxed. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lovers’ forehead, earning him a soft hum.

“So… It’s a promise?” He asked quietly, before a yawn cut off his voice. Arthur nodded, watching his sleepy servant.

“Yes, it’s a promise,” he assured, his heart skipping a beat at the smile that spread across his face. “Now… Get some sleep, yeah? We’ve got a long day tomorrow, revising that draft.”

Merlin nodded slowly, letting his eyes fall shut as Arthur pulled him closer. A few moments of quiet passed, and Arthur shut his own eyes to try and get some sleep. It was only a few seconds later a voice had him peeking open an eye.

“Arthur?” Arthur glanced to the brunet to find him staring back at him, an indecipherable look in his eyes.

“Yes, Merlin?”

There was a short silence. Then, a quiet, “thank you…”

Arthur sighed softly and pressed a kiss to Merlin’s head, as the latter buried his face in the King’s neck. “For you? Anything. Goodnight, Merlin.”

Lips pressed against his neck gently, and Arthur smiled, shutting his eyes again. “Goodnight, Arthur…” Came the muffled voice in reply, as Arthur began to drift into the world of dreams.

And Merlin?

Merlin was quiet.

Sleeping soundly in the arms of his King, who both knew would always be there to hold him when he was hurting.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this!
> 
> Take care of yourself, you darling corporeal being of life, you deserve it.


End file.
